A Regret Unfilled: The Tragic Loss of Stoney

The loss of a loved one is heartrending. But when we reflect on those we could have done more for, the pain deepens. This article reflects on what I, the author, regret not doing for my dear cousin, Stoney, shortly before he passed away.

Introduction

I regret that I did not pay a visit to my cousin Stoney either at his home in Tennessee or at the hospital where he was staying in the Atlanta area before he died of metastatic neuroendocrine carcinoma in July 2021, at the age of 43. Stony, or Stoney as I affectionately called him, was born Stone Mountain, named after our grandfather. He was a truly special person and one of my favorite individuals. He radiated happiness, possessed a fantastic sense of humor, and had an uncommented joie de vivre that was unparalleled. There was something magical about Stoney. He was the consummate performer and loved traveling with his family, performing gospel concerts at churches all across the United States.

Early Days and Memorabilia

Stoney and I shared countless memorable moments, particularly during our travels. One of my earliest happy memories is from December 2003, where we stood together next to San Francisco Bay. Stoney had a penchant for adventure, and we had many more such experiences in California. However, it is important to note that I never shared a single adventure with him outside of our home state. Looking back, I cannot help but wonder what treasured stories and moments I missed out on.

Reflections on Lost Opportunities

During the final tour in May 2018, I had the privilege of meeting Stoney for a couple of hours at a buffet near Disneyland in Anaheim, California. This was our last encounter, and I was completely unaware then that it would be so. However, now, with the benefit of hindsight, I realize that those hours together were the only visit I had with him in the last decade.

A video call in December 2020 was the last time I spoke to Stoney. The conversation had a stark undercurrent of solemnity and finality, and I felt a tremor of uncertainty about the future. That acknowledgment of impending loss was present, though we did not confirm it. If I could turn back time, I would have made a determined effort to visit Stoney one last time, even if it meant seeing him in his frail condition.

A Farewell and a Eulogy

Attending Stoney's funeral in Springfield, Tennessee, was a profoundly somber experience. The sight of my lifeless cousin Stoney in his coffin, whimsically decorated with images from Disneyland, was a stark reminder of his gone. This grief is not just about the physical absence but the loss of shared moments and memories. His absence sometimes hits me like a tidal wave, a striking and raw reminder of what has been lost.

Conclusion and Memory

Without Stoney, the world feels like it is missing a special light. His absence is a void that is impossible to fill. All I can do is hold onto the memories we shared and look forward to the next meeting in the eternal glory of the afterlife. A special homage to Stoney is the song “When the Angels Bring Me Home”, featuring him as the lead singer. The lyrics hold a poignant significance as a reflection of his passing.