Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Tending Towards Isolation or Seeking Solitude?

Many individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) experience a profound and often lifelong struggle with social interactions and being among groups, leading them to seek solace in solitude. In this article, I will explore the experiences of adults with ASD, their preference for isolation, and the significance of finding a neurodiverse community.

Uncomfortable in Crowds

It is not unusual for adults with ASD to feel uneasy or disconnected in crowds. I, for instance, have always struggled with the discomfort of being in large groups and public spaces. Often, I find myself tuning out and disconnecting from the environment around me. While I may appear to be part of the crowd, my mind and attention are frequently elsewhere. This experience of isolation within a crowd is a common thread among many adults on the spectrum.

Preferences for Solitude

My preference is to be alone or with a small group of trusted friends and family. Even in these intimate settings, I reach a point where I yearn for solitude. For comfort, I often retreat into my own world, where my control over situations is absolute. This inclination towards isolation extends beyond my personal preferences to my professional and social life. The challenge of maintaining relationships and dealing with social interactions continues to be an uphill battle for me.

Struggles with Rejection and Ostracism

Throughout my life, I have experienced profound rejection and feelings of ostracism, both in the workplace and in social circles. Small talk and maintaining social fa?ades do not come naturally to me. This has often led to situations where I felt isolated and disconnected. To cope with these challenges, I have, at various times, put on masks to fit in, leading to burnout and the loss of many aspects of my life.

Social Butterfly or Isolated Lonely Soul?

There have been periods in my life when I was perceived as a social butterfly, drawing people to me for the best nights out on the town. However, behind this facade, I often felt lonely and isolated. I vividly remember the numerous times I dreaded these social gatherings and the accompanying feelings of being amongst strangers. Despite being surrounded by models, actors, singers, businesspeople, and ministers, my happiest moments were when I could find a solitary conversationalist and have deep, meaningful discussions in the quieter corners.

Finding Acceptance in Neurodiverse Community

Only recently, through my diagnosis of autism, have I come to understand my experiences more fully. Recognizing the vast community of neurodiverse individuals has been a significant revelation. Many of us, like myself, live in isolation, feel lonely, and prefer solitude. This understanding has led me to refocus my efforts away from seeking validation and acceptance in a society that often does not understand or accept us without masks.

Today, for the past 10 years, I have found my happiness in a neurodiverse community, where I no longer feel the burden of fitting in. This community provides a safe space for individuals like myself to be our authentic selves, fostering connections and understanding among neurodiverse individuals.

In conclusion, while adults with ASD may often seek isolation and solitude, the journey towards understanding and acceptance is essential. Finding a neurodiverse community can bring a newfound sense of belonging and happiness. Recognizing and embracing neurodiversity is vital for creating a more inclusive society.