Navigating Addiction: A Former Addict's Insight to Understanding Addiction

As a former addict, I've experienced the challenge of explaining my journey into addiction to those who have never faced it. Recently, I had an unplanned five-day hospital stay for an addiction-related infection, which provided an opportunity to discuss my struggles with a nurse who was genuinely curious about my condition. This experience highlighted the difficulty in conveying the reality of addiction to individuals who have not gone through it themselves.

Understanding PTSD and Pain Medication Coping

My journey into addiction began during my deployment to Iraq in 2003. When I returned home in 2004, I was unaware that my symptoms were PTSD-related. As a means to cope with my PTSD, I started using opiate pain relievers. Despite what some might believe, opiates do much more than just relieve pain. They provide an escape from reality, allowing users to temporarily forget their troubles. This sensation of euphoria can be incredibly compelling.

A Relapse Caused by Triggers

After 12 years of sobriety, a series of events triggered a relapse. I found an old laptop from my time in Iraq, and in it, I discovered digital photos that evoked deep emotions. This emotional turmoil led me to seek comfort in opiates, which resulted in a relapse. The combination of my diabetes and my compromised immune system made the situation worse, culminating in a severe infection requiring hospitalization.

The Challenge of Explaining Addiction

During my hospital stay, a nurse expressed curiosity about my addiction. While initially reluctant to be fully honest, I decided to share my experience with her. The nurse's genuine interest made her questions difficult to answer. Her inquisitive nature and lack of addiction history made it challenging to explain the complex nature of addiction.

The Nature of Addiction

One of the nurse's questions hit close to home: why do people continue to use drugs if they know it will harm them? My answer, rooted in the nature of addiction, is that it can be compared to insanity—continuing the same behavior despite knowing the consequences. Addiction is not just about the drugs; it's about a lifestyle choice that revolves around the need for the euphoric sensation that opiates provide. This sensation is described as one of the greatest feelings in the world, making it incredibly difficult to find alternatives.

Preventing Curiosity from Leading to Addiction

While it was essential to be honest, I was also mindful of not making opiate addiction seem appealing. The nurse, despite her curiosity, was in a position of trust. If her curiosity led her to use opiates, it could result in serious legal and health consequences. Explaining the sensation of using opiates, while trying to avoid romanticizing it, was a delicate task.

Conclusion: Breaking the Cycle of Understanding

Ultimately, I do not believe that a hardcore addict can make someone who has never experienced addiction truly understand what it's like. Perhaps this is a good thing, as it prevents individuals from becoming addicted due to misunderstanding the depth of addiction's hold on a person. The only way to fully understand addiction is to experience it firsthand, a path most would avoid. However, honest and open dialogue can help bridge the gap between those who have experienced addiction and those who have not.