Navigating Recovery: How to Overcome Fear of Getting Better After Trauma

Life can be incredibly challenging, especially when you've experienced difficult traumas. I've been through many such experiences, and I am currently seeing a new therapist who I believe could help. However, sometimes I feel scared of getting better or even that I don’t want to. Is this normal, and how can I overcome these feelings?

Seeking Professional Help: The First Steps

It's common for individuals who have experienced trauma to feel uncertain about seeking help. You don't necessarily need to see a therapist immediately. There are numerous resources available, including hotlines. These can be useful for offloading emotions and receiving practical advice on making the decision to see a therapist.

When you finally decide to take the first step, you may face an intake interview. This interview can be conducted over the phone or in person and involves a series of questions to determine your suitability for therapy. The primary goal is to ensure safety and to match you effectively with a therapist who can help.

The First Session: A Comfortable Start

Your first therapy session might feel a bit awkward. After all, if you've never been to a therapist before, you might not know what to do. However, the beauty of therapy lies in its accessibility. During your first session, you might ask about the therapist's shoes or simply discuss your ex-husband's influence on your life. The pace of therapy is set by you, and you can take as much time as you need to feel comfortable.

Understanding Your Feelings of Fear

The fear of getting better is a common reaction to therapy, especially after facing significant traumas. A therapist can provide a safe environment for you to make 'soft landings' when bad things arise. Sometimes, individuals can become accustomed to the darkness, but it's essential to look for the light and seek help.

In therapy, you will have the freedom to talk about anything that matters to you—your life, feelings, experiences, hopes, and fears. There's nothing inherently scary about therapy, except what you bring into the session. While discussing trauma can be difficult and frightening, it's much worse to carry all that trauma within you without relief.

Setting the Pace in Therapy

The pace of therapy is ultimately determined by you. You will do most of the talking during sessions. It's your responsibility to let the therapist know what you hope to achieve through therapy. The therapist will inquire about your goals from the outset and will not push you to discuss anything you're not ready for. They might encourage you to open up or inquire if you're comfortable discussing certain topics, but the final decision is yours.

Even if you decide you never want to discuss your trauma, a therapist can help you learn to cope with it effectively. Whether through therapy or other coping mechanisms, the goal is to find relief from the pain you've carried for so long.

I hope this information provides some comfort and guidance as you navigate your journey towards recovery.