The Naturalness of Selfishness and the Willpower to Be Good

Selfishness and the inclination to act in ways that prioritize our own needs often come more naturally to us than the seemingly more difficult task of being good. This article explores why we tend to favor selfishness and the willpower required to make ethical choices.

The Behavior of 'Being Bad'

‘Being bad’ can be characterized as consistently insisting on having one's way at the expense of others. This behavior is often observed in young children, particularly around the age of two when they begin to assert their independence. For example, a toddler might refuse to share their toys or throw a tantrum when they do not get what they want. These behaviors, which are part of the natural development stages, highlight the initial lack of empathy and social skills that usually need to be taught.

The key to cultivating good behavior lies in the development and internalization of social and ethical values. This process requires intentional guidance and learning, but it is essential for navigating human interactions effectively.

Understanding 'Being Good'

In contrast, 'being good' is a combination of character, upbringing, and moral integrity. It involves making the right choices even in challenging situations. For instance, a person might be tempted to take credit for someone else's work, but doing the right thing means acknowledging the contributions of others, even if it costs personal recognition. Similarly, refraining from spreading gossip and resisting retaliation when wronged exemplify true goodness. These actions require a significant amount of willpower and often challenge our natural inclinations.

The ease of taking the selfish or harmful route is evident in many everyday scenarios. Justifying our choices to ourselves and deceiving ourselves in our own thoughts and conduct is often easier than making the effort to be honest and ethical. This fundamental human dilemma has led to widespread selfishness and indifference to others' needs, reflected in the chaos and conflict in the world today.

The Ego and Willpower for Goodness

‘Being bad’ often stems from a strong belief in the ego, the idea that one can do anything they want without considering the consequences on others. This belief, prevalent in both individuals and collective actions, is misleading and harmful. However, true goodness arises from consistently choosing to act ethically, even when the temptation to act selfishly is strong. Being good requires not only willpower but also a shift from egoistic behavior to altruism, often referred to as enlightenment.

Enlightenment involves deriving pleasure from caring for others before oneself. This inner state is achievable through deliberate practices, which can be explored in more detail here. By inverting the self-centered perspective and focusing on the well-being of others, we can cultivate a more harmonious and ethical society.

Conclusion

While the tendency to act selfish and indulging in immediate gratification may come more naturally, the willpower to be good and ethically sound is crucial for individual growth and societal harmony. Understanding the roots of selfish behavior and the steps to overcome it can lead to a more empathetic and morally upright world.