Is Love Possible for the Sick Person?

It is not uncommon to hear concerns about whether love can truly thrive in the presence of illness or if one’s potential to love will be compromised. This belief is particularly pervasive when discussing serious medical conditions. However, my own experience, and that of countless others, proves that love knows no bounds, especially in the face of health challenges.

My Journey with My Partner

My husband was born with HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) and transposition of the great arteries. These conditions mean he was born with only one functioning ventricle and a set of heart complications. This was a reality I knew about from day one of our relationship. However, it did not diminish my love for him; instead, it strengthened it. His current battle includes waiting for a heart and liver transplant, yet my commitment remains unwavering.

When we first started dating, I made sure to be completely open about my medical condition. I had epilepsy since I was 12 years old, and I shared this with him as soon as we got to know each other. My rationale was simple: I didn’t want to waste any time in a relationship if he knew he couldn’t handle a partner with a neurological condition that could affect his life. His response was reassuring: he was unfazed and stood by my side through every medication-adjusted seizure and each fall when I lost consciousness. His support has been unwavering, and his presence has become a pillar of my strength.

Challenges and Triumphs

Our journey has been filled with challenges, particularly during the early years of our marriage when my wife spent a significant amount of time in the hospital undergoing cancer treatments. I recall spending many nights by her side, often sleeping on a camp bed at the foot of her hospital bed on the cancer ward. These were tough times, but we navigated them together.

Years later, I read an article about true love, and while the exact wording has been paraphrased, the essence of the article resonates deeply with me. True love, the article proclaimed, wasn’t about romantic moments or flashes of perfection during a wedding. True love was about holding someone’s hair back as they threw up from chemotherapy. It was about staying strong during the tough times. The article captured an essence that I could relate to: it was about the unwavering support and the commitment to face life’s challenges together.

Embracing the Future with Open Arms

Recently, I have faced new challenges related to my epilepsy, which has worsened since I entered menopause and the passing of my father in 2013. My seizures have become more frequent, but together, we are managing. My husband takes no issue with my condition; he helps me navigate each challenge and ensures that I remain calm and focused. We both know that with time, our roles might reverse, and he will be the one in need of care. However, I trust that he would handle the situation with the same love and compassion that I have provided him over the years.

As I've learned, the belief that no one will love you because you have a medical condition is a misconception. Love transcends such stereotypes. It is about love for the person, not just for their current state. Illness is a part of life, and facing it together can intensify the bond between partners. We cannot predict the future, but we can be certain of the love we share in the present.

Love and commitment are the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. They stand firm, even in the face of adversity. If these principles guide your interactions and give you assurance, rest assured, true love does indeed prevail, no matter the circumstances or challenges you may face.