Why Do We Feel Protective Over Our Therapists?

Why Do We Feel Protective Over Our Therapists?
As we dive into exploring the emotional dynamics between a therapist and client, we often find ourselves feeling protective towards our therapist. This protective feeling is a common and natural response in the therapeutic relationship. Here, we will delve into the reasons behind this sense of protection, discuss ways to address the issue, and provide guidance for clients and therapists alike.

Creating a Safe Space

Uniqueness and Safety
Therapists create a unique and safe environment for their clients. This space often feels like no other, where clients can express their deepest thoughts and feelings without judgment. It is natural to develop a high level of trust and comfort with your therapist, which can lead to a protective instinct. You begin to see the therapist as a partner in your healing journey, someone who supports you and cares for your well-being.

A Protective Bond

A Sense of Being Protected
Feelings of being protected by your therapist can be especially powerful, especially if you did not receive this support from your parents or other guardians during your childhood. This protective bond can help heal old wounds, providing a sense of security and stability. Therapy can offer a nurturing environment that is often absent from our early life experiences. If you feel you are receiving protection from your therapist, it is important to discuss this with them; therapists are equipped to handle such feelings appropriately.

Overcoming Shared Trauma

Personal Anxieties and Unresolved Issues
Sometimes, the protective feelings towards your therapist may stem from deeper anxieties and unresolved issues. If you have experienced trauma, such as childhood sexual abuse, it can be triggering to share these details, especially with a therapist who may have children or other young family members. This fear can manifest as a desire to protect both yourself and your therapist from potential harm. It is crucial to communicate your concerns openly with your therapist. They are trained to provide a safe and confidential environment, and discussing these feelings can help you work through them.

Self-Distract and Self-Care

Discounting Our Own Needs
At other times, your protective feelings towards your therapist might be a manifestation of a self-distract mechanism. When you are in the midst of difficult emotions or challenges, it can be easier to focus on taking care of others rather than addressing your own needs. This is a common way to avoid facing inward and dealing with unresolved issues. By overexerting yourself to protect the therapist, you are, in essence, deflecting from your own emotional pain and needs. It is important to recognize this pattern and work towards integrating self-care into your therapy process.

Understanding Transference and Resistance

Transference and Its Role in Therapy
Transference is when a person redirects their feelings about a significant person in their life, such as a parent or other authority figure, onto their therapist. This can lead to intense and sometimes confusing feelings, such as romantic attraction or protective instincts. These feelings are normal and are an expected part of the therapeutic process. Over time, discussing these feelings with your therapist can help you work through them and gain insights into your own emotional patterns.

Resistance in Therapy

Struggling with Change
Resistance to change can also contribute to protective feelings towards your therapist. When a client resists growth and change, it can manifest in various ways: being late to appointments, changing the subject, or withholding information. These behaviors can be defensive mechanisms, and discussing them with your therapist can help you understand the drivers behind your resistance.

Risk and Safety Concerns

Protecting the Healing Space
In some cases, protective feelings may stem from concerns about the therapist's well-being. If you fear that something might happen to the therapist that could jeopardize your safe and secure healing space, you may feel a strong urge to protect them. It is important to discuss these concerns with your therapist, so they can provide reassurance and ensure that your healing environment remains a safe and stable place for you to express and heal.

Conclusion

Feeling protective towards your therapist is a common and understandable response in the therapeutic relationship. However, it is essential to address these feelings with your therapist. They are trained professionals who can help you understand and process these emotions, leading to a healthier and more effective therapeutic experience. Remember, your well-being is every bit as important as the therapist's, and prioritizing your own health and growth is a critical component of therapy.